thesystemdied

honestly it seems all pretty futile to me.

So we have this system friend that was really cool when we met them. It was the height of popularity of epic the musical and we shared quite a few sourcemates for it. Eventually two of them got into relations. it was sweet, it was cute, talked all the time, called all the time. Then another two got into relations. Okay, thats two, more than one. They were also sweet, cute, talked often. And then again, another relationship. It all sticked within epic the musical alter (and greek mythology.)

(Ours) Hermes with ody.
(Ours) Calypsos with (a different)Odysseus.
And (ours) Dionysus with Apollo.

It was good, it was great, it was awesome for them. Then it just stopped. Everything stopped. They all stopped showing up. The talking and reaching out stopped happening. And whatever connection was there just shriveled up. Its honestly hurting the 3 a lot. Dionysus is taking it the hardest since hes a frequent fronter.

This "friend" we made is simply just ours, we aren't theirs and its very obvious. They only reach out when they need to vent, feel lonely, or feel like they have No One else to talk to. We aren't a friend, we aren't even second option, we're a "well i have nothing else so i guess this is good enough." And i don't know what we want to do about it because it's not only affecting the big three but all of us because we already don't have friends as is a crave a simple connection.

And and one last thing. I and amsel have suspicions that they've pushed far from us so much so that they don't want us simply getting into a shared interest. When We mentioned wanting to watch The Pitt their first reaction was: "oh i don't think its something you would like."
Which, common we watch house first of all, second it VERY much seemed like something we would like, and tired we definitely liked it.

Im just stumped on what to do. I cant cut them off, thats not fair to the big three, i could confront them but i don't even know how i would, and besides i don't really want to be friends with someone like that.

- Dennis

I have a SLIGHT, PASSIVE, crush on the hosts boyfriend.

WOAH. yeah so that is happening. I don't know how, I don't know where it came from, i've never even actually talked to him. at least not directly as myself. The host, Amsel, Dirt, Whatever name they want to use, knows about this little feeling and doesn't really feel anything towards. I Keep thinking about it and I don't know how I feel. like I said its basically passive. I'm not sure if I even like them or if its just me wanting the attention since I've been feeling extra lonely every time I front and I'm here. I keep wanting to talk to him, actually talk to him but it feels weird and a little awkward I guess. He doesn't know me, I don't really know him, i've never talked to him before, I wouldn't even know where to start.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should sit here, watch, and let these feelings maybe pass or if I should talk to them and try to get close and see if something happens. its so complicated, living like this is so complicated. I just don't know what to do with this or how to do it.

-Dionysus

I know it's dangerous, not just for me but for everyone in the system. I feel bad, kinda. I don't know. It's not much I'm doing anyway. It's just for fun and those benefits. I'll feel less alone and less like a burden this way. I’ll be safe about it, I'm pretty smart and older so I know what I'm doing. Still, I know it's dumb.

I feel bad for Ulysses. This isn't his game and as much as i know he's missed it i know he doesn't want to play anymore. I’m gonna end up fucking somthing up with this and then I’ll really feel bad. I'm putting us all in harm's way, I hate that I know this. I'm too old to be oblivious to what's happening but I really wish I wasn't. I'd feel less guilty that way.

I’ll regret this when it’s over, I know that much, but right now It feels like all I have and I’ll take what I can get.
Besides, Antinous was right, this is really all I'm good for anyway


| Dionysus